Attachment is something present inside us since we were born; many theories speak and determine that attachment has been built inside us from the start, especially at a small age during our childhood. As well known, both genetic and private relationships, from the start, are going to be carried all along our lives. As you get older, your attachment style shapes how you direct close relationships.
To define more, you can find four types of attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidance, and disorganized.
Precisely, people with anxious attachment styles will feel close to others, however, but they will struggle to sense safety in their relationships and have a problem feeling abandoned by the ones they love.
In comparison, certain people who advance secure attachment styles usually have more stability in relationships. They don’t feel anything about losing the other person. They have mental stability in their relationship. However, persons with an anxious attachment, as mentioned before, have problems with feeling this sense of security or stability. Therefore, when you have an anxious attachment directly, you have to pull your partner closer and always think that the other half will leave you behind, especially when you hear many bad stories happening in one day.
Research has shown that 20% of the population has an anxious attachment. Therefore, to find out more about signs and other subjects, you only have to complete reading the article to improve your lifestyle.
Signs of an Anxious Attachment Style
Having an anxious attachment style can disturb your feeling of security, your life will change. Certain modifications could happen during daily activities. Throughout you’re reading, signs of having anxious behaviour are mentioned here below;
- Repeating assurance of your love if he is still present next to you. Such as,” Do you still love me?
- Always check if your partner will pull away or leave.
- In case of any problem, it could threaten the entire relationship.
- Making wrong assumptions about your loved ones in losing touch for a short period.
- Putting a negative opinion of yourself
- Reflecting on bad scenarios
- Continually worrying about your relationship with the other half even if there are no problems
- Not having the power to solve difficulties without your partner
- Loving to stay in touch with your partner, how he is now, how he is feeling at all periods
- You feel a sense of urgency to see your love, to stay with him, to spend most of your time with him.
While receiving reassurance for your love is important for you, therefore, this positive moment will help you to secure yourself, but not for a long time. Many people start to have a trusty relationship or secure one, but unfortunately, the way people scratch their feelings, they start having insecure attachments.
Causes of Having Anxious Attachment
To determine the original cause of having these kinds of interruptions to your attachment, we have to go backward towards your childhood, especially to understand why this anxious attachment will start growing inside. When you’re a child, you always rely on your parents for existence, such as your biological wants (food, shelter, warmth) and emotional requirements.
For your infants, for example, in case you need to eat or anything else, you start by crying, moving, and playing around to attract the attention of your parents, so they can feed you with what you are seeking. Here, the parents’ answer is major. When their needs meet your needs also, these moments shape how they come to view themselves and others. According to attachment theory, this is how people will create attachment models for their relationships in the future.
When caregivers steadily encounter both the physical and emotional wants of a child and provide a sense of security and confrontation for their child when discovering their surroundings, this same child will be able to develop a secure attachment style. However, on the other hand, when the needs of any child are not met and the feeling of insecurity most of the time, this child will have a sense of insecure attachment. To add more also, certain people will have great childhood comfort. However, when they face certain bad relationship acts in life, this will certainly create an anxious attachment.
Fixing an Anxious Attachment Style
To be more specific, your attachment level and style can change over time. When you are with someone who you trust and love, he will let you pass away the sentiment of losing any person you love. Therefore, the committed and secure partner cannot be left alone without any regret. You have to keep it as something really important. During this life cycle, people with these anxious attachments can lose this feeling if they are accompanied by the right person. Therefore, having a person in your life who loves you means a lot. A precious person with whom you chatter about every single issue and always communicate with you on the smallest things is a gift. Because this person will give you a lot of experiences different from the ones you felt during your childhood and the bad feelings of insecurity will be left over time. Try not to waste this kind of relationship, even if in life you can have different obstacles.
Additionally, this same person could recover your mental health disorders, because his presence will achieve your recovery faster, especially if the relationship was a romantic one. Never underestimate the way people have to approach each other, to understand more, when you have love in your heart for another person, you can help him to overcome obstacles. Sometimes the other person will achieve more if someone is really supporting him through communication, understanding care, and working hard to keep the other party safe. This kind of relationship is important to have in your life. Simply, it pushes you further and, for sure, many new issues are going to change your old mentality.
Finally, to summarize, certain people with anxious attachment styles fight to feel secure in their relationships. Driven by fear, abandonment, and low self-esteem, the person will feel his anxiety. Therefore, the presence of a person who can provide security is very important, especially if there is love between both. Don’t underestimate the love and caring emotions that help the lower part to achieve a new way of thinking and measuring difficulties.
Of course, your attachment style developed during your childhood can affect your relationships as you get older. While an anxious attachment can occasionally affect your relationships, the positive news is that a safer attachment can develop over time. Simply, you need to find a committed partner who loves you, and who is willing to communicate with your triggers.